








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
935 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,647 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 578 | 22% |
| Smokes | 769 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 874 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 426 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $206,122 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | e2 | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | AK^ WOEHOE | 45% | 66 |
| #6 | Cerb | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Rassing | 44% | 55 |
| #8 | winnie | 43% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK^ WOEHOE | 125 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #2 | Rassing | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | winnie | 95 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Cerb | 62 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Frojo | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK^ WOEHOE | +1.85 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Frojo | +0.86 | 68 | 54 |
| #3 | e2 | +0.30 | 79 | 44 |
| #4 | Stumpje | +0.04 | 72 | 58 |
| #5 | Rassing | -0.14 | 83 | 58 |





