








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2325 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1778 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3777 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 2095 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $495,138 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cerb | 59% | 104 |
| #2 | Frojo | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | e2 | 54% | 140 |
| #4 | Rassing | 54% | 164 |
| #5 | winnie | 51% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Frojo | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | e2 | 54% | 140 |
| #4 | Rassing | 54% | 164 |
| #5 | winnie | 51% | 137 |
| #6 | Stumpje | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rassing | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | e2 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | winnie | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Cerb | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Frojo | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cerb | 373 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | Rassing | 340 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | winnie | 315 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | e2 | 193 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Stumpje | 68 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK^ WOEHOE | +2.24 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | e2 | +0.62 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | Frojo | +0.02 | 67 | 55 |
| #4 | Rassing | -0.03 | 79 | 55 |
| #5 | Stumpje | -0.37 | 72 | 58 |





