








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1125 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,778 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1772 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1181 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1616 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1209 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,266 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e2 | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | AK^ WOEHOE | 59% | 104 |
| #3 | winnie | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | Rassing | 48% | 86 |
| #5 | Frojo | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | AK^ WOEHOE | 59% | 104 |
| #3 | winnie | 57% | 58 |
| #4 | Rassing | 48% | 86 |
| #5 | Frojo | 44% | 18 |
| #6 | Stumpje | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rassing | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | AK^ WOEHOE | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | winnie | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | e2 | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK^ WOEHOE | 161 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Rassing | 149 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | winnie | 130 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | e2 | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Frojo | 42 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK^ WOEHOE | +1.90 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | e2 | +1.66 | 77 | 48 |
| #3 | Frojo | +1.38 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | Stumpje | +1.26 | 71 | 60 |
| #5 | Rassing | +0.08 | 76 | 57 |





