








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
607 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,328 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 492 | 37% |
| Smokes | 200 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 374 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 262 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $199,304 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CitizenCheese | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Stumpje | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Hitbox | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | AK^ WOEHOE | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | winnie | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | AK^ WOEHOE | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | winnie | 52% | 25 |
| #6 | e2 | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | Rassing | 48% | 27 |
| #8 | Cerb | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AK^ WOEHOE | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Stumpje | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | winnie | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | e2 | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cerb | 80 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #2 | Rassing | 61 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | winnie | 60 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | AK^ WOEHOE | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stumpje | 26 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hitbox | +2.08 | 76 | 59 |
| #2 | AK^ WOEHOE | +1.67 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | Frojo | +0.88 | 67 | 53 |
| #4 | Stumpje | +0.51 | 79 | 53 |
| #5 | Rassing | +0.24 | 81 | 64 |





