








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 53 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2593 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1304 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1329 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1165 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1714 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,591 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UrethraXtremee | 67% | 49 |
| #2 | cool guy | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | kam | 64% | 14 |
| #4 | Hyperal | 64% | 39 |
| #5 | Homer | 62% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | BobsBoosted | 50% | 20 |
| #11 | playstationpizza | 47% | 19 |
| #12 | max | 46% | 24 |
| #13 | LITRULLY | 38% | 26 |
| #14 | ttv_aerglo66 | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | 11 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | DANTHOMPSON | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Homer | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Fwyer | 4 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | @1gbaCS | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANTHOMPSON | 348 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | @1gbaCS | 314 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #3 | Homer | 197 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Fwyer | 118 | 0.25 | 3 min |
| #5 | BobsBoosted | 111 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyperal | +3.43 | 91 | 42 |
| #2 | Sw1ft | +2.21 | 79 | 50 |
| #3 | @1gbaCS | +1.22 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | kam | +1.10 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | DANTHOMPSON | +0.96 | 73 | 66 |





