








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 78 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4661 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4007 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3100 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3372 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $765,841 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sw1ft | 62% | 53 |
| #2 | @1gbaCS | 53% | 187 |
| #3 | DANTHOMPSON | 51% | 349 |
| #4 | LITRULLY | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | UrethraXtremee | 48% | 249 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | UrethraXtremee | 48% | 249 |
| #6 | Colin | 48% | 21 |
| #7 | Skrunklee | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | Aybaer | 45% | 31 |
| #9 | max | 39% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANTHOMPSON | 28 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | @1gbaCS | 15 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | UrethraXtremee | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | max | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Colin | 3 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANTHOMPSON | 996 | 0.14 | 27 min |
| #2 | @1gbaCS | 671 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | Colin | 153 | 0.36 | 5 min |
| #4 | Sw1ft | 142 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Aybaer | 133 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aybaer | +2.32 | 75 | 65 |
| #2 | Sw1ft | +1.73 | 76 | 48 |
| #3 | Homer | +1.36 | 78 | 68 |
| #4 | Colin | +1.36 | 71 | 69 |
| #5 | @1gbaCS | +1.21 | 75 | 62 |





