








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 144 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2332 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,566 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2573 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2425 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1668 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2900 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,246 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MCBERD | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | Marson.exe | 60% | 42 |
| #3 | Nick Zutter | 56% | 170 |
| #4 | shouwman | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Saint Yaint | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Homer | 50% | 36 |
| #12 | DANTHOMPSON | 47% | 72 |
| #13 | Teddi | 40% | 15 |
| #14 | UrethraXtremee | 39% | 38 |
| #15 | Sw1ft | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DANTHOMPSON | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Homer | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Nick Zutter | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | @1gbaCS | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Marson.exe | 4 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nick Zutter | 1401 | 0.38 | 41 min |
| #2 | πΎππ© | 559 | 0.28 | 16 min |
| #3 | @1gbaCS | 463 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #4 | T A K Y O N | 391 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | DANTHOMPSON | 214 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | @1gbaCS | +1.83 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Marson.exe | +1.54 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | πΎππ© | +1.12 | 68 | 76 |
| #4 | Nick Zutter | +1.03 | 86 | 80 |
| #5 | Neko | +0.88 | 84 | 58 |





