








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 57 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 524 | 19% |
| Smokes | 771 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 641 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 782 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $213,339 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .# Astro xD | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Tagami | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | sHrox ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | SexyhAs | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | .xQ* | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | itsraffi | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | .bongdude | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | .d0mi | 33% | 6 |
| #9 | c4ppy🚀 | 33% | 6 |
| #10 | Nevermind | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .xQ* | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagami | 173 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | .xQ* | 133 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | SexyhAs | 100 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | itsraffi | 71 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | .bongdude | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +2.25 | 87 | 75 |
| #2 | Tagami | +1.43 | 76 | 77 |
| #3 | c4ppy🚀 | +0.80 | 90 | 62 |
| #4 | .bongdude | +0.59 | 83 | 58 |
| #5 | .xQ* | -0.13 | 83 | 76 |





