








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 104 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1232 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1049 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1053 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $316,081 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | .bongdude | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | dasd- | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | itsraffi | 54% | 24 |
| #5 | c4ppy🚀 | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | SWiiZZ skinport.com | 50% | 24 |
| #8 | SexyhAs | 50% | 90 |
| #9 | Tagami | 49% | 67 |
| #10 | .xQ* | 46% | 93 |
| #11 | .d0mi | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagami | 267 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | SexyhAs | 224 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | .xQ* | 186 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | .d0mi | 102 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | itsraffi | 79 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +2.18 | 90 | 67 |
| #2 | .bongdude | +1.51 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | Tagami | +1.35 | 78 | 73 |
| #4 | dasd- | +0.78 | 88 | 79 |
| #5 | Nevermind | +0.48 | 77 | 70 |





