








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 390 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4196 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5409 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4172 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5175 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $980,460 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | itsraffi | 57% | 86 |
| #3 | Tagami | 55% | 231 |
| #4 | c4ppy🚀 | 54% | 46 |
| #5 | .bongdude | 54% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | .d0mi | 53% | 62 |
| #7 | SexyhAs | 52% | 326 |
| #8 | Nevermind | 51% | 72 |
| #9 | SWiiZZ skinport.com | 48% | 61 |
| #10 | sHrox ୧༼ಠ益ಠ༽୨ | 46% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .bongdude | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | yung lemaus | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tagami | 953 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #2 | SexyhAs | 775 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | .d0mi | 385 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #4 | itsraffi | 272 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Nevermind | 263 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +1.51 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | Tagami | +1.08 | 77 | 73 |
| #3 | .d0mi | +0.75 | 88 | 72 |
| #4 | c4ppy🚀 | +0.56 | 88 | 63 |
| #5 | .xQ* | -0.14 | 80 | 72 |





