








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 1796 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
24834 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 69,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19048 | 27% |
| Smokes | 16463 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 15949 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 18081 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,004,082 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 102 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Norbert | 64% | 105 |
| #2 | .d0mi | 59% | 520 |
| #3 | Jub #ClashGG | 59% | 222 |
| #4 | dasd- | 57% | 125 |
| #5 | apathy die kleine kahi | 57% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Nevermind | 57% | 402 |
| #7 | Tagami | 57% | 203 |
| #8 | yung lemaus | 55% | 1124 |
| #9 | REDCOCKBABY | 55% | 335 |
| #10 | .xQ* | 52% | 326 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 3 | 0.0001 |
| #2 | .d0mi | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #3 | REDCOCKBABY | 2 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Jub #ClashGG | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | dasd- | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung lemaus | 4819 | 0.19 | 121 min |
| #2 | .d0mi | 3073 | 0.26 | 86 min |
| #3 | Nevermind | 2014 | 0.22 | 59 min |
| #4 | Tagami | 806 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #5 | Jub #ClashGG | 698 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexyhAs | +1.89 | 89 | 66 |
| #2 | Tagami | +0.98 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | Norbert | +0.90 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | .d0mi | +0.90 | 87 | 71 |
| #5 | dasd- | +0.30 | 84 | 70 |





