








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 727 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4422 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,163 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2824 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3768 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2922 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4649 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,693,649 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sleviN | 50% | 42 |
| #7 | baeisi | 48% | 114 |
| #8 | naki`´ | 46% | 114 |
| #9 | bast1 | 43% | 37 |
| #10 | LordKami | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Finanzamt | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | baeisi | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | marzltov | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | naki`´ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | bast1 | 4 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Finanzamt | 945 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | baeisi | 497 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | LordKami | 144 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #4 | marzltov | 126 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | bast1 | 105 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bast1 | +2.23 | 93 | 58 |
| #2 | Das Finanzamt | +1.11 | 67 | 46 |
| #3 | gl0w | +1.04 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | sleviN | +0.48 | 63 | 58 |
| #5 | pexxi | +0.44 | 82 | 41 |





