








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 91 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2740 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1992 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2252 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1351 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $575,766 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 298 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sisar | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Neven SuBOTic | 56% | 124 |
| #3 | penguin ๐๐๐๐๐งกโค | 51% | 146 |
| #4 | โ Subarashii | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | IamRoady | 44% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | penguin ๐๐๐๐๐งกโค | 51% | 146 |
| #4 | โ Subarashii | 45% | 38 |
| #5 | IamRoady | 44% | 152 |
| #6 | SchnitzelHeinz | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | Call me LukyS | 41% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IamRoady | 14 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | penguin ๐๐๐๐๐งกโค | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Neven SuBOTic | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | SchnitzelHeinz | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Call me LukyS | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | penguin ๐๐๐๐๐งกโค | 966 | 0.32 | 30 min |
| #2 | Neven SuBOTic | 216 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Call me LukyS | 163 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | IamRoady | 136 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | โ Subarashii | 74 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sisar | +2.60 | 56 | 45 |
| #2 | Neven SuBOTic | +1.89 | 71 | 51 |
| #3 | penguin ๐๐๐๐๐งกโค | +0.87 | 77 | 77 |
| #4 | Call me LukyS | +0.24 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | Karen | +0.24 | 66 | 66 |





