








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 60 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 67 | 19% |
| Smokes | 64 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 111 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 109 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $121,680 of utility $246 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Repeek Reiner | 33% | 3 |
| #2 | beetlejuice | 25% | 4 |
| #3 | Lucky Luck | 25% | 8 |
| #4 | John Pillermann | 21% | 14 |
| #5 | Stiiii | 0% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Stiiii | 0% | 2 |
| #6 | Apclps | 0% | 3 |
| #7 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 0% | 4 |
| #8 | Perpf | 0% | 4 |
| #9 | koi | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beetlejuice | 1 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Stiiii | 1 | 0.0256 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucky Luck | 23 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | koi | 21 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | John Pillermann | 13 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | beetlejuice | 13 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 10 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apclps | +5.06 | 73 | 76 |
| #2 | koi | +2.77 | 70 | 77 |
| #3 | Repeek Reiner | +2.75 | 73 | 50 |
| #4 | Lucky Luck | +1.76 | 50 | 66 |
| #5 | beetlejuice | +0.51 | 74 | 56 |





