








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,736 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1176 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1259 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1064 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1237 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,403 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stiiii | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | Lucky Luck | 45% | 60 |
| #3 | j-dog | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | Apclps | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Perpf | 40% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Apclps | 43% | 21 |
| #5 | Perpf | 40% | 83 |
| #6 | John Pillermann | 38% | 104 |
| #7 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 37% | 19 |
| #8 | beetlejuice | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Pillermann | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | beetlejuice | 6 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Lucky Luck | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Perpf | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Pillermann | 166 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lucky Luck | 136 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Perpf | 132 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | beetlejuice | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 63 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | j-dog | +3.16 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | Lucky Luck | +2.64 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | koi | +2.37 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | Apclps | +1.71 | 76 | 64 |
| #5 | beetlejuice | +0.78 | 62 | 75 |





