








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 826 | 22% |
| Smokes | 938 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1271 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 805 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $688,234 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apclps | 43% | 58 |
| #2 | Lucky Luck | 42% | 67 |
| #3 | koi | 40% | 83 |
| #4 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | John Pillermann | 33% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Lucky Luck | 42% | 67 |
| #3 | koi | 40% | 83 |
| #4 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 39% | 31 |
| #5 | John Pillermann | 33% | 106 |
| #6 | beetlejuice | 17% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Pillermann | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Apclps | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Lucky Luck | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | koi | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koi | 198 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | John Pillermann | 174 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lucky Luck | 164 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 129 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | Apclps | 128 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koi | +2.47 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | Lucky Luck | +2.38 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | Apclps | +2.20 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | beetlejuice | +1.23 | 64 | 77 |
| #5 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | -0.58 | 45 | 73 |





