








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,598 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 995 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1029 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 906 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 668 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,432 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | H3inz Clutchh4rdt | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Repeek Reiner | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Lucky Luck | 41% | 22 |
| #4 | John Pillermann | 39% | 46 |
| #5 | koi | 34% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | John Pillermann | 39% | 46 |
| #5 | koi | 34% | 41 |
| #6 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 29% | 7 |
| #7 | Apclps | 20% | 10 |
| #8 | Perpf | 17% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Pillermann | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | koi | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Lucky Luck | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Repeek Reiner | 1 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Apclps | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koi | 100 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | John Pillermann | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Perpf | 45 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Lucky Luck | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | 🅲🅷🆁🅽🅺 | 34 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koi | +1.04 | 68 | 72 |
| #2 | beetlejuice | +0.60 | 63 | 76 |
| #3 | H3inz Clutchh4rdt | +0.52 | 75 | 78 |
| #4 | Lucky Luck | +0.41 | 70 | 59 |
| #5 | Apclps | -0.51 | 73 | 61 |





