








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 988 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




138 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5505 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4859 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2893 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3407 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2615 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,736,724 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 943 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aquapeek (omw to kfc) 240km/h | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | sneaky goblin | 56% | 147 |
| #3 | conservative | 50% | 64 |
| #4 | vanss | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | EREN | 48% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aquapeek (omw to kfc) 240km/h | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | sneaky goblin | 56% | 147 |
| #3 | conservative | 50% | 64 |
| #4 | vanss | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | EREN | 48% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sneaky goblin | 40 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | conservative | 34 | 0.0281 |
| #3 | EREN | 26 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | aquapeek (omw to kfc) 240km/h | 15 | 0.0160 |
| #5 | vanss | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EREN | 391 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #2 | sneaky goblin | 333 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | aquapeek (omw to kfc) 240km/h | 74 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | conservative | 48 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | vanss | 48 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aquapeek (omw to kfc) 240km/h | +3.82 | 83 | 49 |
| #2 | Rac | +1.87 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | sneaky goblin | +0.78 | 74 | 50 |
| #4 | EREN | +0.23 | 70 | 48 |
| #5 | conservative | +0.06 | 73 | 22 |





