








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 893 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 635 matches | ||
| Faceit | 169 matches | ||
| Esplay | 9 matches | 2,265 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,611 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8440 | 29% |
| Smokes | 7379 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7304 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5488 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,839,050 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 670 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Okvada | 55% | 166 |
| #2 | And3rt | 52% | 98 |
| #3 | andyski-> | 51% | 153 |
| #4 | Fersk1 | 51% | 73 |
| #5 | PerSpelmann | 51% | 364 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | MARLENE | 49% | 455 |
| #8 | Saetre | 49% | 59 |
| #9 | shuGGah | 49% | 299 |
| #10 | Affin | 48% | 123 |
| #11 | 0b0 | 46% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARLENE | 15 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | PerSpelmann | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | shuGGah | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Okvada | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Affin | 5 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARLENE | 1565 | 0.16 | 37 min |
| #2 | shuGGah | 1022 | 0.16 | 26 min |
| #3 | PerSpelmann | 847 | 0.11 | 26 min |
| #4 | Okvada | 526 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | Affin | 431 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon | +1.83 | 85 | 66 |
| #2 | Okvada | +0.69 | 65 | 71 |
| #3 | andyski-> | +0.53 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | And3rt | +0.14 | 55 | 64 |
| #5 | PerSpelmann | +0.07 | 69 | 68 |





