








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1151 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 498 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 1,919 | |
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5863 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5580 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3509 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3855 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,872,795 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 366 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | clan-leif | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Bjert | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Saetre | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | shuGGah | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Okvada | 51% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | andyski-> | 50% | 64 |
| #8 | MARLENE | 50% | 194 |
| #9 | Affin | 49% | 89 |
| #10 | And3rt | 49% | 73 |
| #11 | shuGGah | 47% | 180 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shuGGah | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | MARLENE | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | haakon | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Affin | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | clan-leif | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon | 963 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #2 | MARLENE | 702 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #3 | shuGGah | 617 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #4 | Okvada | 380 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #5 | Affin | 328 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon | +1.94 | 84 | 66 |
| #2 | Affin | +0.60 | 74 | 70 |
| #3 | Okvada | +0.40 | 66 | 70 |
| #4 | andyski-> | +0.21 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | And3rt | +0.19 | 54 | 60 |





