








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 611 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Esplay | 6 matches | 1,812 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,886 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7407 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6303 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5498 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5678 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,211,726 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | And3rt | 57% | 63 |
| #2 | shuGGah | 54% | 71 |
| #3 | clan-leif | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | Okvada | 53% | 99 |
| #5 | PerSpelmann | 50% | 194 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Fersk1 | 45% | 105 |
| #11 | shuGGah | 45% | 220 |
| #12 | 0b0 | 43% | 56 |
| #13 | B34R | 41% | 29 |
| #14 | Saetre | 34% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shuGGah | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | haakon | 6 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Fersk1 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Affin | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | PerSpelmann | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon | 1317 | 0.14 | 33 min |
| #2 | shuGGah | 781 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #3 | PerSpelmann | 502 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #4 | Affin | 328 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #5 | Okvada | 322 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon | +2.26 | 85 | 68 |
| #2 | Okvada | +1.28 | 66 | 72 |
| #3 | andyski-> | +0.90 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | 0b0 | +0.52 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | And3rt | +0.48 | 61 | 66 |





