








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,501 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2226 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2050 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1646 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1579 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $627,216 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 38 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | MARLENE | 48% | 93 |
| #12 | haakon | 48% | 123 |
| #13 | shuGGah | 42% | 33 |
| #14 | shuGGah | 41% | 46 |
| #15 | JonioN | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shuGGah | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | haakon | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | MARLENE | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | PerSpelmann | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Okvada | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon | 341 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | MARLENE | 290 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | PerSpelmann | 231 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | And3rt | 201 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | shuGGah | 156 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon | +2.46 | 86 | 68 |
| #2 | snAbb | +1.25 | 78 | 46 |
| #3 | shuGGah | +0.84 | 82 | 73 |
| #4 | And3rt | +0.40 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | Affin | +0.37 | 71 | 69 |





