








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1032 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 420 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5279 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6485 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5881 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4697 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5747 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,012,583 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 492 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Okvada | 57% | 175 |
| #2 | andyski-> | 55% | 83 |
| #3 | clan-leif | 54% | 74 |
| #4 | Fersk1 | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | And3rt | 50% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Saetre | 49% | 41 |
| #8 | PerSpelmann | 47% | 180 |
| #9 | 0b0 | 45% | 38 |
| #10 | MARLENE | 45% | 220 |
| #11 | Affin | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARLENE | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | haakon | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | PerSpelmann | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Okvada | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Affin | 4 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon | 901 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | MARLENE | 792 | 0.17 | 18 min |
| #3 | Okvada | 540 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | PerSpelmann | 498 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #5 | clan-leif | 258 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haakon | +1.83 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Okvada | +0.97 | 65 | 73 |
| #3 | And3rt | +0.79 | 62 | 64 |
| #4 | andyski-> | +0.63 | 69 | 59 |
| #5 | 0b0 | +0.56 | 77 | 51 |





