








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 107 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2230 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2578 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2236 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2294 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,147 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rybak | 74% | 23 |
| #2 | Krystyna Nooboowna | 64% | 42 |
| #3 | Kinematograf | 63% | 70 |
| #4 | amfetaminol | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | zira. | 57% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | amfetaminol | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | zira. | 57% | 123 |
| #6 | eMG | 55% | 264 |
| #7 | Zaur | 55% | 218 |
| #8 | borek | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eMG | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Zaur | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | zira. | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | borek | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | amfetaminol | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaur | 1237 | 0.26 | 36 min |
| #2 | eMG | 797 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | borek | 175 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #4 | Krystyna Nooboowna | 114 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | zira. | 86 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kinematograf | +2.93 | 68 | 61 |
| #2 | amfetaminol | +2.28 | 70 | 49 |
| #3 | eMG | +1.09 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | auxenovsky dA KINg! | +0.54 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | Zaur | +0.16 | 59 | 76 |





