








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 548 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 183 matches | ||
| Premier | 150 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7863 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6275 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5516 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4170 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,561 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -pokerface | 63% | 172 |
| #2 | ofarlig | 60% | 81 |
| #3 | HALOJ | 60% | 385 |
| #4 | armie" | 60% | 526 |
| #5 | henks | 59% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | henks | 59% | 148 |
| #6 | hankan | 57% | 80 |
| #7 | micke | 57% | 94 |
| #8 | Bodd Jonar | 56% | 61 |
| #9 | dodspulver | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | armie" | 26 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | HALOJ | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | -pokerface | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | micke | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | henks | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | armie" | 2284 | 0.22 | 59 min |
| #2 | HALOJ | 1012 | 0.13 | 29 min |
| #3 | -pokerface | 577 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | hankan | 311 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | Bodd Jonar | 254 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bodd Jonar | +2.11 | 63 | 73 |
| #2 | henks | +1.84 | 72 | 23 |
| #3 | armie" | +0.85 | 64 | 77 |
| #4 | *420 biceps | +0.78 | 54 | 72 |
| #5 | HALOJ | +0.74 | 85 | 64 |





