








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 107 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Esplay | 15 matches | 1,768 | |
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6071 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4911 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3916 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3937 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $740,860 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 198 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ofarlig | 74% | 31 |
| #2 | -pokerface | 61% | 165 |
| #3 | micke | 60% | 53 |
| #4 | *420 biceps | 60% | 385 |
| #5 | henks | 58% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | *420 biceps | 60% | 385 |
| #5 | henks | 58% | 140 |
| #6 | armie" | 57% | 481 |
| #7 | Bodd Jonar | 57% | 51 |
| #8 | hankan | 52% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | armie" | 20 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | *420 biceps | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | -pokerface | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | henks | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | hankan | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | armie" | 2182 | 0.23 | 59 min |
| #2 | *420 biceps | 1110 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #3 | -pokerface | 521 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | hankan | 377 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #5 | Bodd Jonar | 211 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bodd Jonar | +2.72 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | henks | +1.58 | 72 | 22 |
| #3 | armie" | +0.81 | 63 | 77 |
| #4 | HALOJ | +0.72 | 85 | 66 |
| #5 | *420 biceps | +0.44 | 53 | 72 |





