








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2227 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1932 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1907 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1219 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $626,568 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | micke | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | *SusanzA @ dogeminer2.com | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | *420 biceps | 63% | 172 |
| #4 | HALOJ | 61% | 165 |
| #5 | henks | 59% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | armie" | 59% | 222 |
| #7 | hankan | 53% | 36 |
| #8 | dodspulver | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | MALorne | 50% | 12 |
| #10 | Bodd Jonar | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | armie" | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | *420 biceps | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | HALOJ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | MALorne | 3 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | henks | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | armie" | 865 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #2 | *420 biceps | 508 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | HALOJ | 498 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | hankan | 162 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bodd Jonar | 91 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MALorne | +3.28 | 79 | 75 |
| #2 | Bodd Jonar | +1.75 | 66 | 73 |
| #3 | henks | +1.34 | 73 | 24 |
| #4 | armie" | +0.87 | 66 | 77 |
| #5 | -pokerface | +0.46 | 63 | 62 |





