








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 224 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
929 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1501 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1773 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1753 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1439 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $413,246 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JANUSZ !!! | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | czerwony policzek jacka | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 57% | 63 |
| #4 | Ozjasz | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | VonMoltke | 55% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SMIELSZY_WACEK | 52% | 21 |
| #7 | • anarchia18 • | 52% | 54 |
| #8 | wilden | 51% | 55 |
| #9 | SUNIA!!! | 50% | 60 |
| #10 | Thalweg | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | VonMoltke | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | wilden | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | SUNIA!!! | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Thalweg | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thalweg | 160 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | VonMoltke | 137 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr_Peanut ツ | 107 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | SUNIA!!! | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | • anarchia18 • | 51 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VonMoltke | +3.75 | 82 | 72 |
| #2 | Ozjasz | +0.60 | 41 | 46 |
| #3 | czerwony policzek jacka | +0.57 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | wilden | +0.40 | 53 | 53 |
| #5 | Mr_Peanut ツ | +0.20 | 80 | 48 |





