








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 550 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 273 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,927 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3514 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3927 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3734 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2752 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,511,937 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mArkKu | 54% | 82 |
| #2 | tinnepapi | 52% | 31 |
| #3 | n4su | 50% | 222 |
| #4 | makita ossi | 49% | 277 |
| #5 | helldog | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | PERKKIÖMÄEN ANTISANKARI | 45% | 103 |
| #9 | KalakutanKorjaamo | 42% | 158 |
| #10 | esva | 41% | 185 |
| #11 | Betsijumala | 40% | 52 |
| #12 | stiquu | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makita ossi | 20 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | PERKKIÖMÄEN ANTISANKARI | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | esva | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Betsijumala | 7 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 1346 | 0.25 | 48 min |
| #2 | n4su | 1028 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #3 | makita ossi | 1027 | 0.18 | 28 min |
| #4 | KalakutanKorjaamo | 567 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | helldog | 462 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mArkKu | +4.11 | 59 | 71 |
| #2 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | +1.90 | 53 | 81 |
| #3 | makita ossi | +1.13 | 48 | 68 |
| #4 | KAUPPIAS | +1.09 | 61 | 73 |
| #5 | Betsijumala | +0.29 | 61 | 58 |





