








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 805 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Faceit | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,828 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2624 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2964 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3242 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2998 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,301,509 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 316 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makita ossi | 53% | 204 |
| #2 | KalakutanKorjaamo | 50% | 143 |
| #3 | Betsijumala | 50% | 26 |
| #4 | helldog | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | KAUPPIAS | 46% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | n4su | 46% | 179 |
| #7 | PERKKIÖMÄEN ANTISANKARI | 41% | 94 |
| #8 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 41% | 150 |
| #9 | REISKA57 | 41% | 185 |
| #10 | mArkKu | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | makita ossi | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | KalakutanKorjaamo | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | REISKA57 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | n4su | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n4su | 892 | 0.24 | 27 min |
| #2 | makita ossi | 783 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #3 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | 719 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #4 | KalakutanKorjaamo | 489 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | KAUPPIAS | 412 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mArkKu | +2.19 | 58 | 67 |
| #2 | creepcrab(\)(;,,;)(/) | +1.63 | 51 | 80 |
| #3 | makita ossi | +1.41 | 50 | 70 |
| #4 | Betsijumala | +0.78 | 59 | 53 |
| #5 | KAUPPIAS | +0.64 | 58 | 70 |





