








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,809 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 973 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1876 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1713 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1247 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $390,481 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bröter blep | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Steeeeeve | 55% | 60 |
| #3 | jamie | 50% | 10 |
| #4 | Multi21 | 50% | 96 |
| #5 | Kerri | 49% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kerri | 49% | 51 |
| #6 | Cpt. Haggis | 46% | 59 |
| #7 | Vladimir | 46% | 118 |
| #8 | Kerm | 45% | 20 |
| #9 | mon_sween | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vladimir | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Multi21 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Kerri | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | bröter blep | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Kerm | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Multi21 | 201 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Cpt. Haggis | 171 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Vladimir | 114 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kerri | 100 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | mon_sween | 78 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steeeeeve | +2.98 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Kerri | +2.37 | 73 | 72 |
| #3 | Multi21 | +1.75 | 53 | 73 |
| #4 | bröter blep | +1.12 | 84 | 73 |
| #5 | Vladimir | +0.48 | 41 | 67 |





