










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 422 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 833 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3086 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1773 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1997 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,566,794 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kols | 61% | 140 |
| #2 | ☢Carnage ♿ | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | Kim | 49% | 341 |
| #4 | OneAnaki | 43% | 77 |
| #5 | botSnek♿ | 38% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | botSnek♿ | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | Kim | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | ☢Carnage ♿ | 3 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | Kols | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Werner | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kim | 554 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #2 | botSnek♿ | 439 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | Werner | 348 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #4 | Kols | 192 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | OneAnaki | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rubies | +3.81 | 80 | 46 |
| #2 | Werner | +2.67 | 68 | 77 |
| #3 | ☢Carnage ♿ | +0.75 | 60 | 64 |
| #4 | Kols | +0.38 | 50 | 45 |
| #5 | OneAnaki | +0.19 | 61 | 64 |





