








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 837 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 1,682 |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 112 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,392 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7101 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6513 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4906 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6872 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $663,900 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 514 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JukseFrøyd | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | magnus | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | botSnek♿ | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | OneAnaki | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ✪ Oksen | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JukseFrøyd | 674 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #2 | magnus | 649 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #3 | Ahre Ketil | 464 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #4 | nexw3 | 333 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #5 | ✪ Oksen | 254 | 0.10 | 7 min |





