








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 215 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4776 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3555 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2585 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3106 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,998 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KRÄHENMANN! | 63% | 27 |
| #2 | elsterN | 61% | 36 |
| #3 | Helo | 58% | 90 |
| #4 | ekko | 55% | 132 |
| #5 | Beastmode -.- | 54% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | d-g0 | 50% | 180 |
| #12 | Chris P. Bacon | 49% | 55 |
| #13 | fakeskuH | 44% | 43 |
| #14 | slotten #resterampe | 35% | 17 |
| #15 | Kicker ツ | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helo | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | duffed | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | KRÄHENMANN! | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Fabolous | 2 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | d-g0 | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d-g0 | 588 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | duffed | 329 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | Helo | 320 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | ekko | 271 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | fakeskuH | 185 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duffed | +2.46 | 65 | 75 |
| #2 | hArDiiii x[ | +2.41 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | Chris P. Bacon | +1.75 | 84 | 57 |
| #4 | ekko | +0.65 | 66 | 73 |
| #5 | elsterN | +0.56 | 75 | 61 |





