








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 958 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 171 matches | ||
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5151 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4008 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3887 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2376 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,403,771 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 460 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duffed | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | ekko | 59% | 128 |
| #3 | iTriXx | 59% | 63 |
| #4 | hArDiiii x[ | 58% | 90 |
| #5 | Beastmode -.- | 57% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | xid | 51% | 71 |
| #8 | Kicker ツ | 50% | 24 |
| #9 | Aldaras | 50% | 204 |
| #10 | simo | 49% | 221 |
| #11 | Bartmac | 48% | 220 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simo | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Aldaras | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | d-g0 | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Bartmac | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | xid | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aldaras | 464 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | d-g0 | 461 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #3 | hArDiiii x[ | 406 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #4 | Bartmac | 342 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | ekko | 311 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duffed | +3.31 | 70 | 77 |
| #2 | hArDiiii x[ | +2.75 | 79 | 77 |
| #3 | Helo | +2.10 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | ekko | +1.86 | 67 | 74 |
| #5 | xid | +1.72 | 67 | 58 |





