








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 260 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 317 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,074 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2328 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3241 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2830 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2675 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,013,687 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 247 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnodder | 67% | 33 |
| #2 | Los Hartos | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | Lyux | 56% | 106 |
| #4 | KoNoYiHo | 55% | 51 |
| #5 | Hendrik Lamar | 53% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KoNoYiHo | 55% | 51 |
| #5 | Hendrik Lamar | 53% | 51 |
| #6 | flashwrap | 51% | 201 |
| #7 | Syntrux | 46% | 97 |
| #8 | mfgmoin | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flashwrap | 19 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Los Hartos | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Lyux | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Schnodder | 4 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Syntrux | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flashwrap | 874 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | Lyux | 393 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Syntrux | 250 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Schnodder | 173 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hendrik Lamar | 168 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hendrik Lamar | +1.85 | 55 | 73 |
| #2 | Lyux | +1.21 | 56 | 72 |
| #3 | Schnodder | +0.52 | 62 | 69 |
| #4 | KoNoYiHo | +0.46 | 50 | 62 |
| #5 | flashwrap | +0.31 | 55 | 67 |





