








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1350 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2014 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2302 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 759 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $798,513 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flashwrap | 61% | 66 |
| #2 | brewzoid. | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | mfgmoin | 58% | 24 |
| #4 | Lyux | 58% | 73 |
| #5 | fronkendudz | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hendrik Lamar | 49% | 149 |
| #8 | KoNoYiHo | 49% | 68 |
| #9 | Amentas | 48% | 23 |
| #10 | flula | 47% | 19 |
| #11 | Syntrux | 45% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnodder | 22 | 0.0104 |
| #2 | Lyux | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Hendrik Lamar | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Syntrux | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | KoNoYiHo | 4 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schnodder | 478 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | Hendrik Lamar | 445 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | flashwrap | 286 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Lyux | 252 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Syntrux | 225 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hendrik Lamar | +2.67 | 58 | 72 |
| #2 | Lyux | +2.27 | 63 | 69 |
| #3 | flashwrap | +1.58 | 60 | 70 |
| #4 | KoNoYiHo | +1.50 | 66 | 56 |
| #5 | brewzoid. | +0.91 | 59 | 56 |





