








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 36 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,359 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 578 | 25% |
| Smokes | 737 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 500 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 544 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $272,487 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jagarion | 63% | 8 |
| #2 | Mayuranda | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Mützchen | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Bye Tao BaiBai | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Army | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | spudlich | 33% | 9 |
| #16 | Das Krokodil | 30% | 10 |
| #17 | Shakar_Fubi | 25% | 8 |
| #18 | Jiriki | 14% | 7 |
| #19 | SimplyJonny | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kay ツ | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Lizec | 4 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Angel of Nightmare | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Mayuranda | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Torrul | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kay ツ | 124 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Lizec | 41 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Army | 40 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | [►] 317 | 37 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | spudlich | 30 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Army | +4.09 | 73 | 61 |
| #2 | [►] 317 | +3.98 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | kay ツ | +2.36 | 66 | 57 |
| #4 | Das Krokodil | +1.72 | 57 | 63 |
| #5 | Pritzelbritzel | +1.63 | 75 | 65 |





