








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 536 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3575 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 921 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1875 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3022 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1409 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,307,983 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | 61% | 69 |
| #2 | ogletree | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Fatsch | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Torrul | 49% | 81 |
| #5 | NetZwerg211 [GER] | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lizec | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | kay ツ | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Mützchen | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | [►] 317 | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Windy ✈ | 3 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kay ツ | 313 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | [►] 317 | 237 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Lizec | 163 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pritzelbritzel | 92 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | ogletree | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogletree | +7.58 | 83 | 69 |
| #2 | [►] 317 | +5.25 | 80 | 71 |
| #3 | Windy ✈ | +4.72 | 66 | 61 |
| #4 | kay ツ | +3.00 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | Das Krokodil | +2.20 | 55 | 56 |





