








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 189 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1466 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,004 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 32 | 2% |
| Smokes | 101 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 1421 | 71% |
| Molotovs | 450 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $105,282 of utility $17 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angel of Nightmare | 49% | 81 |
| #2 | [►] 317 | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | kay ツ | 47% | 151 |
| #4 | Acetaminophen | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | NetZwerg211 [GER] | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | SimplyJonny | 35% | 17 |
| #17 | Jiriki | 33% | 73 |
| #18 | Bye Tao BaiBai | 30% | 20 |
| #19 | Fatsch | 29% | 24 |
| #20 | Shakar_Fubi | 18% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lizec | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | kay ツ | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Mützchen | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Angel of Nightmare | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Jiriki | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kay ツ | 322 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Lizec | 163 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mützchen | 78 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | [►] 317 | 78 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jagarion | 57 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | +5.22 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | ogletree | +4.64 | 69 | 73 |
| #3 | Army | +3.88 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | kay ツ | +3.80 | 69 | 62 |
| #5 | Das Krokodil | +1.92 | 63 | 65 |





