








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 154 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 776 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2503 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2323 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1982 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $753,258 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spudlich | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | Marek | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | Schlomo | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Scheibo | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | [►] 317 | 50% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lizec | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | kay ツ | 8 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Torrul | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Jiriki | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Das Krokodil | 3 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kay ツ | 220 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Lizec | 152 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | ogletree | 67 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jagarion | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | SimplyJonny | 49 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ogletree | +8.10 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | [►] 317 | +6.44 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | kay ツ | +4.46 | 72 | 61 |
| #4 | Das Krokodil | +1.95 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | spudlich | +1.67 | 49 | 64 |





