








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 673 | 6% |
| Smokes | 6186 | 52% |
| HE Grenades | 3014 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1932 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,267,945 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SimplyJonny | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Das Krokodil | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | Army | 50% | 129 |
| #4 | Setra | 50% | 40 |
| #5 | Angel of Nightmare | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mayuranda | 45% | 77 |
| #9 | Мiss - А | 43% | 83 |
| #10 | kay ツ | 43% | 28 |
| #11 | Lizec | 41% | 32 |
| #12 | spudlich | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayuranda | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | kay ツ | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Army | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Das Krokodil | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Setra | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Army | 300 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Мiss - А | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | spudlich | 92 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Das Krokodil | 63 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | kay ツ | 62 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Army | +3.29 | 65 | 66 |
| #2 | Das Krokodil | +2.51 | 58 | 60 |
| #3 | kay ツ | +1.11 | 56 | 62 |
| #4 | NetZwerg211 [GER] | +0.55 | 34 | 39 |
| #5 | SimplyJonny | +0.35 | 71 | 58 |





