








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 470 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,146 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2802 | 34% |
| Smokes | 2366 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2001 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 977 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,401,243 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Das Krokodil | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | SimplyJonny | 59% | 22 |
| #3 | Bye Tao BaiBai | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | [►] 317 | 51% | 67 |
| #5 | SuperDuperDaria | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Pritzelbritzel | 37% | 51 |
| #15 | ❀˖° captainanniツ | 34% | 29 |
| #16 | Jiriki | 34% | 93 |
| #17 | Scheibo | 34% | 88 |
| #18 | Army | 29% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lizec | 17 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Mützchen | 11 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Jiriki | 5 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Torrul | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Angel of Nightmare | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lizec | 251 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #2 | [►] 317 | 212 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mützchen | 89 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Angel of Nightmare | 86 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Scheibo | 70 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [►] 317 | +4.79 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | kay ツ | +2.99 | 67 | 60 |
| #3 | Army | +2.54 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Das Krokodil | +1.95 | 44 | 59 |
| #5 | Pritzelbritzel | +1.40 | 71 | 63 |





