








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,676 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2401 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2105 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2621 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2549 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,167,842 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0mix | 51% | 35 |
| #2 | R0han | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | Fur | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | MaWi | 46% | 50 |
| #5 | Daddy Derank | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | KiriE_Castle | 40% | 15 |
| #15 | s0gnekongen | 36% | 42 |
| #16 | MageekPanda | 32% | 19 |
| #17 | Pheoniks | 29% | 28 |
| #18 | Mantis | 26% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BECK | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | dr gaff | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | XistEnCe^ | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | m0rr0w | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | XistEnCe^ | 407 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | m0rr0w | 265 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | mu[VI]sta[R]✪ | 229 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | dr gaff | 226 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | BECK | 162 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dr gaff | +2.48 | 63 | 72 |
| #2 | Daddy Derank | +2.21 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | Fur | +1.21 | 70 | 75 |
| #4 | R0han | +1.11 | 63 | 55 |
| #5 | Krueger | +0.88 | 68 | 69 |





