








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,773 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5153 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5274 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3648 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4698 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $774,033 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wrath | 70% | 53 |
| #2 | Vexximititty | 63% | 91 |
| #3 | JKR | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | Damper Cluckney | 62% | 42 |
| #5 | Atom^_^ | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | kson | 56% | 27 |
| #8 | MonarchSaw5 | 55% | 60 |
| #9 | ^-^ | 54% | 72 |
| #10 | Hawpa | 54% | 87 |
| #11 | de_benito | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^-^ | 19 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Hawpa | 12 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Vexximititty | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | de_benito | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | UwU | 6 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawpa | 402 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #2 | Vexximititty | 337 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Wrath | 271 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #4 | ^-^ | 219 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | kson | 177 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKR | +4.75 | 95 | 54 |
| #2 | farz -road to 100 commends- | +1.99 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | Vexximititty | +1.68 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | Wrath | +1.64 | 72 | 75 |
| #5 | MonarchSaw5 | +1.53 | 86 | 62 |





