








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4545 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3957 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2822 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3465 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,057 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 548 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKR | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | Wrath | 71% | 56 |
| #3 | Dphil | 68% | 44 |
| #4 | htip^ | 65% | 37 |
| #5 | kson | 65% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | MonarchSaw5 | 64% | 86 |
| #7 | nathanx | 63% | 41 |
| #8 | farz -road to 100 commends- | 63% | 91 |
| #9 | YnGDough | 56% | 25 |
| #10 | LilSwang | 54% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | farz -road to 100 commends- | 11 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | kson | 11 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | MonarchSaw5 | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Dphil | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | htip^ | 3 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kson | 406 | 0.29 | 11 min |
| #2 | farz -road to 100 commends- | 356 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Wrath | 296 | 0.27 | 9 min |
| #4 | MonarchSaw5 | 244 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | LilSwang | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKR | +3.10 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Vexximititty | +2.32 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | kson | +2.04 | 78 | 72 |
| #4 | Wrath | +1.94 | 68 | 78 |
| #5 | MonarchSaw5 | +1.42 | 86 | 63 |





