








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1884 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2822 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2061 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1333 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1537 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $418,815 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 205 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adrelic | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | ^-^ | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | nathanx | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Wrath | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | JKR | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nathanx | 60% | 10 |
| #4 | Wrath | 59% | 32 |
| #5 | JKR | 58% | 12 |
| #6 | farz -road to 100 commends- | 54% | 87 |
| #7 | MonarchSaw5 | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | farz -road to 100 commends- | 11 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | ^-^ | 3 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Wrath | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Adrelic | 2 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | farz -road to 100 commends- | 317 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Wrath | 147 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | ^-^ | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Adrelic | 40 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | MonarchSaw5 | 35 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKR | +5.97 | 90 | 65 |
| #2 | Adrelic | +4.29 | 91 | 59 |
| #3 | Wrath | +2.09 | 73 | 79 |
| #4 | nathanx | +1.76 | 73 | 61 |
| #5 | ^-^ | +1.23 | 82 | 51 |





