








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2639 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2742 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3329 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2256 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1994 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $886,231 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Atom^_^ | 407 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | Damper Cluckney | 326 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | farz -road to 100 commends- | 254 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #4 | Scott Sterling | 193 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | de_benito | 183 | 0.07 | 3 min |





