








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
859 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1047 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1717 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1310 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1585 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $377,081 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elvin | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Cardoso | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Bjorna | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | Jetta Driver | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | chello tem | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Karstein | 43% | 53 |
| #8 | amund | 43% | 112 |
| #9 | juf | 32% | 31 |
| #10 | Reapercub | 32% | 25 |
| #11 | Hurthi | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amund | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Bjorna | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | juf | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Jetta Driver | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Reapercub | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | amund | 270 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | sQuirtmaker | 203 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bjorna | 160 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Karstein | 124 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | juf | 88 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bjorna | +2.62 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | Cardoso | +1.62 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | amund | +1.05 | 82 | 69 |
| #4 | chello tem | +0.98 | 82 | 61 |
| #5 | Jetta Driver | +0.65 | 56 | 74 |





