








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 501 matches | ||
| Faceit | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 185 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,847 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11541 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9716 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 11334 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 10256 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,082,645 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1273 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BaseMent HaXx | 66% | 53 |
| #2 | Pancakes | 61% | 152 |
| #3 | OuchyW | 54% | 369 |
| #4 | Davey | 52% | 200 |
| #5 | monK | 48% | 293 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | OuchyW | 54% | 369 |
| #4 | Davey | 52% | 200 |
| #5 | monK | 48% | 293 |
| #6 | scrapp-eee | 48% | 323 |
| #7 | wheres my rabbit ? | 45% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | monK | 12 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | scrapp-eee | 10 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | wheres my rabbit ? | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | OuchyW | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | BaseMent HaXx | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scrapp-eee | 935 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #2 | OuchyW | 831 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #3 | Davey | 656 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #4 | monK | 594 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #5 | wheres my rabbit ? | 455 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onslaught | +1.02 | 67 | 73 |
| #2 | OuchyW | +0.89 | 38 | 76 |
| #3 | Pancakes | +0.80 | 47 | 69 |
| #4 | scrapp-eee | +0.54 | 43 | 73 |
| #5 | BaseMent HaXx | +0.22 | 48 | 75 |





